It looked as if I was never going to get better, and this last round of treatment seemed to be doing more harm than good. The gamut of antibiotics had done a number on my system, and if I was ever going to beat this disease, I needed a respite in order to get my body on track. I stopped my antibiotics, by this point I had been taking one pill or another for almost two and a half years, it seemed that all of the pro-biotics in the world wouldn't fix what was going on inside of me. Nevertheless, we worked out a new diet, more rest, more vitamins, more water, everything you normally need to be healthy, we doubled down on.
The theory, was that if we were able to fight Lyme from a stronger position, we might give ourselves an advantage, in this long drawn out struggle. One unhelpful combatant in this effort was a lurking depression that constantly needed to be kept in check. Having lost my job, physical ability, much of my social life, only fed the creature clouding my mind.
This is why I was most thankful for my relationship with God. Jesus is well acquainted with suffering and he gave us his Spirit to counsel and guide us through turbulent times like this. I was continually reminded of Psalm 23, where the psalmist talks about the contrast between his harsh circumstances, and the abundant peace and provision in the midst of such dark times. Circumstantially, everything in life was looking pretty bleak, no healing in sight, no ability to pay the inevitable bills, loss of purpose, attack on identity and value... and yet, we all felt a tangible peace.
Then a friend, Jesse, asked if I would like to try my hand at something that I could work on in spite of my situation. Voice acting, or Voice overs, was something Jesse and his brother had been doing for a couple years. They were both really talented, and had a background in the industry, but Jesse encouraged me saying he thought it was something I could do. I had never imagined myself in a role like that, but it was the first thing that seemed to fit what I was able to do. Work from home, when I was able, and no pressure for when I wasn't able. It didn't require a lot from me physically either. Even in a wheelchair, I could roll myself into my little blanket fort studio, talk into a mic for a bit, and then go back to bed if I needed. In the very least I thought it would give me something to do.
I had all of the normal hangups getting started. I didn't know what I was doing, didn't like the sound of my own voice, I couldn't decide what I thought the client wanted etc. But I decided almost right away, that this wasn't about making money. God had provided for all of our needs up until this point, and it didn't seem to be in His character to stop now. I decided then, to make a goal of 1000 auditions. If I got a job or two in the process that would be a bonus! I was inspired by the story of Thomas Edison's 1000 unsuccessful attempts while inventing the light-bulb before getting it right. I thought to myself that even if I did that many auditions and did not succeed in landing a single job, I would have succeeding in becoming less affected by rejection!
I didn't have to face rejection long, as it was only a month or so of auditions before I landed my first job, and then another, and then, a big one with a big video game company! Which helped recoup the previous months of unemployment due to disability. Coincidentally, the success with voice overs was almost parallel with a progression in my overall health.
Symptoms began to fade away, and I started to see life from a state of health I thought no longer existed. I was able to go for walks, swim, and even started to jog a bit. In September I joined the local "Color Run" and was able to jog/walk a 10km distance!
Lots changed, but we were still faced with some issues with finance, and the uncertainty of continued work and health. That's when we made the difficult decision to move back to Alberta. We had been given a piece of 'family" land years ago but never had opportunity to put it to use. With our financials situation being tenuous, living simply became a focus while we endeavored to rebuild our life around a new career and new take on life. For now, we are living with my wonderful In-Laws, who have graciously been helping with this rebuilding process.
<to be continued>
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